WHAT TO DO…?
a guide for foreigners visiting homes abroad
a collective work
of
students and teachers
involved in
“ETHNO TREASURE HUNT” project
LLP -
Comenius, 2010-2012
HOSPITALITY IN ROMANIA
Each country, each region and each
people have their unwritten laws, orally transmitted through traditions. I
believe that the Romanian people are very generous and hospitable. And all the
foreigners who have visited our country have remarked it and they talk about it
wherever they go and they can appreciate it better when they return to Romania
Romanians are hospitable by
tradition. Here, anyone, no matter how rich or poor, will do the best they can
to make their guests feel comfortable and appreciated. They happily and
sincerely will share their food and their home with their guests. Your Romanian hosts will bring out the best
food and drinks they have in the house and share them with you. They will do
everything to make you feel at home. It is not the quantity of food and drinks
that are offered that are very important, even if these are of top quality, but
the warmth and quality of the conversation, the sincerity and the whole
atmosphere that surrounds you in your hosts’ home that are important.
We
receive all our guests with bread and salt, as since time immemorial, these
have been the riches of this blessed land. So we happily share our richness
with our guests.
I think it is in our genes to
welcome any person who comes to our home. Hospitality is not regarded as
obligation. It is rather a ritual: the woman of the house cooks what she knows
best and the man of the house brings over his” heavy artillery” – the magical
liquors that are famous. If the guests remain overnight, the hosts will offer
them the best rooms and the best beds in the house. This comes more from
tradition – “It is only proper” as the old people say.
When
there is a place for you in our hearts, there is a place for you in our house.
So,
come and visit us! You will be welcome. J
Teacher: Mariana Deac
Drawings by:
Orlando Costin, Alex Banco, Mircea
Moldovan, Ionut Sas, Simina Dunca, Adrian Ghedan, grade 4B
Translated by prof. Nicoleta Onea
BIRTHDAYS
Samuel Josif Meder cl. I Sez. M
When people celebrate birthdays, the whole family gets involved.
On such special occasions Italians are used to giving parties, especially at home,
different kinds of parties differ from each other, depending on whether the celebrated
person is a child or an adult, a baby girl or a young boy, etc...
However, according to one of the most famous commonplaces about Italian culture,
food is always a costant along with cheerfulness and conviviality.
The drawing refers to a child's birthday: families usually prepare a big party at home,
inviting all the relatives: grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and even the child's
schoolmates and friends in general.
Mummies usually prepare different types of hors d'oeuvre, snacks, chips and crisps
fruit juice and and coke, of course. Pizza is always appreciated by everybody.
But when the birthday cake, made with chocolate cream or fruit such as strawberries
or other kind of fruit, appears, is the most important moment of the party, parents
take pictures and everybody give presents to the child.
On such occasion children are happy, enjoy themselves and play all the time.
The room where the party takes place is decorated with balloons and festoons.
COFFEE TIME
Chen Zonghao – Salomone Francesco – Totaro Mattia cl. III Sez. A
In past times in the south part of Italy women used to go to neighbours' house to have
a cup of coffee after lunch.This was a way to have a nice chat together about children
or husbands, or just have some gossip to escape from everyday life.
Housewives stayed at home to take care of the family and the house so they didn't
have the chance to meet other people.
Nowadays, habits have changed because many women have got a job and spend most
of their time outside so they don't have enough time to keep with this pleasant habit.
DINNER PARTY
Aneta Vezzosi – Carmen Pagano
cl. II Sez. M
Italians often use inviting relatives and friends for lunch or for dinner on special
occasions ( such as birthdays, saint's day, anniversaries) or just to spend some time
cheerfully together.
In hot summer evenings , people who have got a garden or a terrace , lay the table
outdoors and enjoy the coolness of the night.
On other occasions dinner parties are held inside in big dining rooms.
The hostess usually cooks a variety of dishes, starting with many hors d'oeuvre made
of fish or vegetables, various kinds of cold meats and salami.
Then the first course is usually pasta cooked in different ways such as baked pasta
with mince meat, cheese, tomato sauce and parmesan. Another way to serve pasta
is spaghetti with mussels and clams which is a typical Sicilian dish.
As second course meat or fish dishes are served: it could be grilled chicken, lamb,
veal or pork; it could also be fish such as sardines “a beccafico”, stuffed rolls of
swordfish or fried fish served with green salad.
While eating people drink red or white wine. Now is time to taste some fruit and
sweet and to toast with good italian sparkling wine.
Meeting and Greeting
One thing
you will realize when visiting Turkey is that part of the Turkish culture
involves being very sociable. Turkish people love to meet new friends. People who come from countries that are
very reserved may be in awe of the friendly nature that is shown to everyone.
With this in mind, you will find it very interesting when you have a deep look
into Turkish culture and social traditions that you will encounter when
visiting Turkey.
“Hos
Geldiniz”. You will hear this phrase often in Turkey. It means welcome and the
phrase that you should return is “Hos bulduk” which means we feel welcome.
Don’t get nervous if you forget this term or forget to say it as Turkish people
realize that not every foreigner knows the Turkish language. When meeting shake hands firmly. When departing it is not always
customary to shake hands although it is practised occasionally. Friends and
relations would greet each other with two kisses on the cheek. Elders are
always respected by kissing their right hand then placing the forehead onto the
hand.
Greet people with either the Islamic greeting of 'Selamun alaykum' (peace be upon you) or 'Nasilsiniz' (How are you?). Other useful phrases are 'Gunaydin' (Good Morning), 'iyi gunler' (Have a nice day) or 'Memnun Oldum' (pleased to meet you).
Turkish
people invite anybody and anyone around to their house. It might just be for
breakfast or a formal evening meal. Remember to say Hos bulduk when entering
and they tell you that you are welcome. Shoes in the house are generally not
allowed. Instead you will be given a pair of slippers. When entering a room, if you are not automatically met by someone greet
the most elderly or most senior first. At social occasions greet the person
closest to you then work your way around the room or table.
Naming Conventions
When addressing a Turk the most common method is to call a man by his
first name followed by 'bey'. So, Ertan Kaya, would be Ertan Bey. Similarly a
woman's first name would be followed by 'hanim'. A common phrase you will
hear Turks using is 'efendim' (literally 'my master'). You may hear this from a
waiter, a secretary, taxi driver, doorman, shop staff and many others. It is
simply a polite way of addressing people you are not familiar with.
Gift Giving Etiquette
It is always a good idea to bring gifts from your own country such as food stuffs or craft items. Be aware that Turkey is a Muslim country. Before giving alcohol to anyone be 100% sure that they drink.
The most usual gifts to take are pastries, (especially 'baklava') and decorative items for the home such as ornaments or vases. If the host has children take some sweets or candy.
Turkish coffee
According
to the Turkish tradition, it is customary for the host to serve Turkish coffee
to guests as soon as they arrive, as a gesture of hospitality. As parties start
sipping their coffee from traditional demitasse cups, they also engage in a
short talk to “melt the ice” which spurs on the main conversation. Therefore a
cup of Turkish coffee is an important part of daily social and business life in
Turkey as stated in the following proverb: “A cup of coffee will not be
forgotten for 40 years”...
Relationships & Communication
Courtesy is crucial in all kind of dealings. Turks do not require as much personal space as many other cultures and will stand close to you while conversing. Do not back away, as this can be construed as unfriendly. Discussions may start slowly, with many questions that may seem irrelevant to the purpose of your visit. Ask about his/her family without prying. Questions about children will be welcomed.
The Turks are proud of their country and will enjoy answering questions
on their culture and history although be sure to avoid political history. Most
Turkish men love football (soccer) and usually support one of three teams:
Besiktas JK, Galatasaray or Fenerbahçe. Asking after their team's recent
fortunes will always produce lively and animate responses. Once a relationship
has been established, communication is direct. It is vital that you maintain
eye contact while speaking since Turks take this as a sign of sincerity.
Social gatherings
You will
probably find yourself invited to a wedding or a circumcision party by a
Turkish person even if you have only known them for a couple of days. I am not
going to write a long list of do’s and don’ts because the Turkish people just
want you to relax and enjoy yourself. If there is anything you need to know at
the time, then someone at the event will inform you of what is happening. As a
present to give to the guest of honor, buy small pierces of gold from Jewellery
shop in Turkey or give them money. Wrapped presents and cards are not widely
recognized in Turkey.
If you are a woman, the only establishments
that you need to be aware of are the Turkish tea houses. Culturally women do
not go in there. Instead look for a Turkish tea garden where couples and
families will go. If you are in any doubt, take a look at who else is there.
Countless amounts of tables filled with men playing card games or backgammon
means it is a no go area for females.
Dining Etiquette
If you
are going around for dinner, then make sure you have a big empty stomach. Food
after food will be wheeled out for you and Turkish people do not take “no” for
an answer. The main meal will be big and then afterwards will be desert,
fruits, nuts, cake followed by tea and Turkish coffee.
If the
family is from a big city, you will probably be seated at the table.
However if it is a small village house, a big round stand will be placed in the
middle of the floor and everyone will sit around that to help themselves to
dine in the middle. You may not be given a knife when at someone’s home, just a
spoon and fork. If you really want to impress then at the end of the meal, say
“elinize saglik” to the cook which is an appreciation of a good meal.
When
going round to someone’s house for a meal, The female guests may normally
follow the women into the kitchen and help them to prepare the meal. During
this time, men will be sat in the living room discussing daily events. The same
applies to clearing up after the meal.
If you
want to help by washing the dishes, remember that Muslims do not believe in
bathing or washing items in stagnant water. Therefore there will be a washing
up bowl, but after they will rinse the plates and cutlery under a running tap.
That is also the reason why you will not generally find plugs for the sink in
hotel rooms either.
Evening meals may be accompanied by some alcohol, usually the local
drink called Rakı. It will comprise of a few courses with the main course
always meat or fish based, accompanied by bread and a salad. Some food like chicken or fish is
more often eaten with your fingers than with cutlery. Lemon cologne will be
splashed over your hands before the meal starts and again afterward.
For religious reasons, lift only
your right hand to your mouth. Your hostess will say: Afiyet Olsun, which means: enjoy your meal and you reply the
same. Make sure that the eldest is served before you and, although Turkish
meals are a lively affair, never speak with food in your mouth.
Asking for a second helping is a
compliment, so go ahead. When using cutlery, the continental way applies, that
is to say, fork in your left hand and knife in your right. Compliment the food
and, if offered, accept a Turkish coffee to round off the meal. Tea or Turkish coffee is served at the end of a meal sometimes with
pastries. Turkish coffee is a national drink and should at least be sampled. It
comes either without sugar, a little sugar or sweet. Turkish coffee is sipped
and allowed to melt into the taste buds so do not gulp it down. Never drink to
the bottom of the cup as it will be full of ground coffee and taste awful
The protocol of Turkish hospitality dictates that the host always pays
for the meal if you dine at a restaurant. The concept of sharing a bill is
completely alien. You may try and offer to pay, which may be seen as polite,
but you would never be allowed to do so. The best policy is to graciously thank
the host then a few days later invite them to do dinner at a restaurant of your
choice. It may be a good idea to inform the restaurant manager that under no
circumstances are they to accept payment from your guests.
HOSPITALITY IN LITHUANIA
Meeting
and Greeting
The most common greeting is the
handshake, with direct eye contact, and a smile.
Once a relationship has been established, greetings may become more unreserved
and include a hug.
Wait for your Lithuanian friends to determine when your friendship has reached
this level of intimacy.
People are addressed by their honorific title and their surname. Wait until
invited before moving to a first name basis.
Gift
Giving Etiquette
If invited to a Lithuanian's home,
bring wine, flowers, or sweets to the hostess.
Give an odd number of flowers.
Do not give chrysanthemums - they are used in funerals.
Do not give white flowers - they are reserved for weddings.
Gifts are generally opened when received.
Dining Etiquette
Table manners are quite relaxed in
Lithuania.
Wait to be told where to sit.
Table manners are Continental - hold the fork in the left hand and the knife in
the right while eating.
Always keep your hands visible when eating. Keep your wrists resting on the
edge of the table.
Take small amounts of food initially so you may accept second helpings.
Try everything.
Napkins are kept on the table, not on the lap.
Welcome to Bulgaria
When someone is coming to Bulgaria
In Bulgaria it`s a tradition to welcome guests
with bread and salt. They give flowers to the guests and present the family
members. Usually they start from men , women and children. If there are any
grand parents they have priority . After meeting each other they will invite
you at the table. The head of the family is on the main corner and he invites
everyone to start eating.
On the table you will see Shopska salad /salad from
tomatoes, cucumbers, onion, parsley and white cheese./, rakia /a fruit brendy
/, banitsa /pastry/, wine /Bulgarian/, meat /various kinds and prepared in
various ways/. When leaving they used to give presents.
Bulgarian people like to show their town or village,
where they live. They will arrange you a trip to get to know the area in a cultural architectural, industrial, and
social way.
As you
see Bulgarian people are proud with their country and culture. Even they don`t
have finances as much as other European countries they are happy and see
the joy of the life in the small things
around them as the sunset, a smile of a child, friendship…and they will give their best to make you wish come back
again to Bulgaria.
HOSPITALITY IN POLAND
WHAT
TO DO WITH A SHOE?
A GUIDE FOR FOREIGNERS TO POLISH
HOMES
If you want to visit Poland, you
have to forget your old habits and learn new ones. Some of them may be shocking
for you, so you have to be a very good student…
Very often you may get an invitation
to a Polish home to dinner. Why? Because Poles are very hospitable and they
like when somebody visits their homes. We have a saying: " A guest in the
home, God in the home". It means that whenever you visit a Polish home,
you will be treated like somebody special. Polish people like socializing at
home. We rarely take guests to a restaurant. We don't like restaurants like
other nations, we prefer traditional home-cooked meals. When invited, you don’t
have to bring a present, which isn’t rude. Polish people don’t count on
presents from visitors. Instead, they are hoping to host you well. However,
Poles like bringing presents for those whom they visit. We never come to
somebody with bare hands. For Poles, it is a sign of respect and friendship.
Usually, guests give
flowers or chocolates to the host when they pay a visit. Everyone habitually
reaches for their shoes, take them off and leave them on the doormat inside the
home or simply in the hall. The first visit is usually an uneasy experience but
don’t stare at the décor inside the home, it’s considered rude. Don’t worry if
the visit seems a bit stiff at the beginning, Polish vodka breaks the ice and
all guests have a party! In Polish homes, hosts ask guests if they want to take
a second helping. And, mind you, it isn't impolite when you say "Yes,
please"! Usually, the guests deny and hosts insist for a while and then it
is a common thing to get the second helping even if you didn’t say it overtly.
The tradition is that on Sundays we eat two-course dinner with our family. For
this reason the hosts don't like when guests come too early because something
could be unprepared. It is nice when to dinner the hosts give some wine or
other alcohol.
Polish cuisine is
famous for fat but Polish dishes are very delicious. The dishes include:
mizeria [cream with sliced cucumbers], kompot [a drink made of stewed fruits],
pierogis [noodles stuffed with cabbage and mushrooms], bigos [stewed cabbage
with spices], pork chops, gołąbki [doves] - cabbage leaves stuffed with meat,
vegetable salads and many more. All of them just water in your mouth.
What is worth mentioning, in our
country the guest is in the focus of attention! We make him feel comfy and the
most important person during the whole visit. We try to please him/her in every
way.
In Poland, there are many other
customs. A Polish man is a gentleman. He kisses a woman on the hand or a cheek
when he meets her. Often he lets a woman pass through the door before him. When
on a bus, a tram or a subway, and you haven’t got a vacant seat, people in
Poland stand up and give the seat to elderly people or pregnant women.
Poles love jokes about dumb Johnny,
blonds, politicians, policemen and village people from Wąchock. However, joking
about Polish nation is in a bad taste as Poles are mostly patriotic. They love
criticizing everything and everybody and complaining about life in general,
therefore they are very often considered unhappy people. It isn’t true, of
course, it is only our national way of getting rid of stress J. As much as you try not to bring up the
subject of politics or religion during a visit, sometimes you may end up
discussing the recent issues. Try not offend your host then and be diplomatic
about your views.
Once again, let’s
repeat a few rules you must remember about when invited to a Polish home:
Ø If you are for the first time in a
Polish home, you cannot be late! You may be a bit earlier, though. Poles are
punctual.
Ø You must reach for the shoes and
take them off when you enter the house. Poles are pedantic mostly, because they
have clean carpets in each room.
Ø Gifts! Everything is allowed, such
as art, flowers, alcohol and sweets. No rules here, just try to be original.
Ø It is in a good taste to make a way
for the woman coming through the door. Polish men are well-mannered and they
respect women. They help with the chair when women want to sit down and they
take a woman’s coat off.
Ø You should not stare at the décor of
the house you visit. But if you don’t approve something, you may do it, but not
too excessively.
Ø Always remember that a Polish home
is open for you!
Teachers: Joanna Wilczyńska,
Izabela Marczak, Monika Rzepecka-Tranda, Agnieszka Szymańska, Agnieszka Pawlak
Students: Witold Machoń, Oliwia
Ormaniec, Aleksandra Stasiak, Tomasz Lenczewski, Anna Tomasik, Agata Machoń,
Paulina Kozieł, Edyta Kurzyńska, Martyna Raciborowska, Ilona Grzewińska, Kamila
Bednarek, Magdalena Głowacka, Klaudia
Garncarek, Nokodem Gawroński, Agata Witkowska, Aleksandra Grandys
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